Alternate Series 9 Titles

For the most part, I found the story titles for Series 9 to be not very imaginative, inspiring, or even interesting. Out of only a handful of folks who responded to my request on the podcast for alternate story titles, Mark Harris was the only one who submitted for each story ... and then some! Below is his entry. Mark will receive some Doctor Who swag from me once he sends me his mailing address.

Enjoy - JB

ALTERNATE SERIES 9 STORY TITLES - by Mark Harris

I’m always a believer in taking titles from the script or the story.  Not to write a title and squeeze it in somewhere, but to just write and let memorable phrases emerge.  I have chosen four examples from the script for each story.  An "*" mark my favourites.  Also included is an ‘Old Skool’ alternative title.  This was never intended as a list of funny alternatives, so, er, they’re not funny.  Someone else can win the goodies.  I just don’t think Moffat and his crew are good at titles.

  The Magician’s Apprentice

First Seek His Friends *
Puppy
The Only Way I Can
The Ultimate Good of the Universe
Old Skool: Evil of the Master

  The Witch’s Familiar

  Consider the Doctor
Make Your Own Stick
Compassion Then
Always Mercy *
Old Skool: Deception of the Daleks

  Under the Lake (this was quite difficult, as the script is lacking in memorable language)

Death’s Merciful Hand
A Proper Ghost
Night Mode *
Duty of Care 
Old Skool: The Phantom Time Lord

  Before the Flood  (ditto)

Bootstrap *
The Future Is Still Coming
Protecting Time
Beethoven’s Fifth
Old Skool:  The Court of the Fisher King

  The Girl Who Died

Tidal Waves
Willingly to Valhalla *
Fire in the Water
A Good Death
Old Skool:  Invasion of the Vikings 

    The Woman Who Lived

My Own Companion *
Like Smoke
Me Against the World
What Eternity Feels Like
(I did think about ‘Fish in the Night’ but that’s just too obscure.)
Old Skool:  The Eyes of Hades

  The Zygon Invasion

Titivating the Fronds (no, not really)
Poncing About (no, not really) Infiltrated
Truth or Consequences *
No British, No Dogs
The Living Embodiment
Old Skool: The Rise of the Zygons

  The Zygon Inversion

Inside Out
The Osgood Box
A Scale Model of War *
The Judge of Time
(and possibly Truth or Consequences again)
Old Skool: The Rout of the Zygons

  Sleep No More

The Arms of Morpheus
Sleep Dust
The Monsters Inside *
Dust to Dust 
Old Skool:  The Sand Men of Neptune

  But seriously, Sleep No More is a good title.  Though The Sand Men of Neptune is a seriously great 1950s-style pulp sci-fi title!  I’m hanging on to that one . . .

  Face the Raven

Counting Down
Trap Street *
Always Run
Quantum Shade 
Old Skool:  The Hidden Refugees  

  But Face the Raven is a good title, and matches well with Sleep No More . . . if that was important.  Which it wasn’t.

  Heaven Sent  (yes, I know there are five options)

Get Off Your Arse (not really)
Doctor Who and The Prisoner of Azbantium
  (No, not really. Still proud of this . . . even though others have thought of it.)
A Second Shadow *
Storm Room
I Confess
Prisoners in My Hell
First Second of Eternity
  Old Skool:  The Torment of the Doctor

  Hell Bent  (seven options!)

A Bit More Welly  (not really)
Where Memories Go
Gallifrey Is Mine
Unravel the Web of Time
Where He Always Runs
The Last Ember
The Company of Immortals * 
(Possibly just Company of Immortals, without the ‘the’.  I like The Last Ember, too.)
Tomorrow Is Promised to No One 
Old Skool:  The Return of the Time Lord